How to Write a Cliché Fantasy Novel (A Humor Post)

Today's post is a short piece of humor I came up with offhand, mainly because I knew I hadn't written a funny post in a while and I was kind of desperate to come up with something. So let the cliché jokes begin.
Sure, I overuse this meme, but it works so well in humor posts.


Recipe for a Cliché Fantasy Novel 


Makes 1 novel that critics will hate for years to come
Prep Time: Could be months. Bake Time: Could be years. Total Time: Who knows?

Ingredients:

  • 1 elderly mentor who speaks in cryptic metaphor
  • 1 1/2 idiotic sidekicks
  • 1-2 villains out for revenge who are completely unconnected to the hero
  • 3,000 miles of wooded landscape
  • 1-2 oblivious monarchs
  • 1 dozen horses
  • 1 unnecessary love triangle
  • 1 special item (possibly magical)
  • This protagonist:
Sure, it's technically meant for dystopian YA novels, but it applies to a lot of cliché protagonists
Place the protagonist into your novel. Fold in mentor and special item and stir in other ingredients in roughly the order written in the recipe. Mix well. Add conflict, higher stakes, and displays of the villain's power as needed. Add magical items and fantasy creatures to taste. Bake until it appears unique and sell with an optional glaze of a badly-written cliffhanger.

Cliffhanger Ingredients:

  • 1 appearance of the villain who the readers thought was dead
  • 2 cups of maniacal laughter
Mix well and add after the final chapter, when the readers thought it was over.


Make sure you tell me in the comments if you want any more of the how to write cliché posts and what genres they should be. If you like this attempt at humor, you might also like my Instagram and Twitter feeds, since humor is basically all I post there. I have other humor posts here on this blog, too, if you want to check them out. You can find them under the humor page(which I will be installing shortly, please hold). And make sure to come back to this blog for more posts like this! I also do posts on busting clichés.

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