Things Retail Workers Wish They Could Tell You

First, a meme to start this post:

Having worked in retail for a year and a half, there are some things that I wold love to tell the customers. Common sense mostly. Occasionally how to take a long walk off a short pier.

If you've ever been in retail, Karen's the worst, right? If you haven't, please read and try to learn so that one day I won't be staring into your soul with all the warmth and geniality of Freddie Kruger.

Things Retail Workers Wish They Could Say

• Please don't take your problems out on us.

• Why thank you for that recommendation of how we should change the policy of our store. I'll just catch a flight tomorrow to go talk to my close personal friend, the owner of the company. 👍

• If you're going to come in five minutes before closing, please handle everything you touch with care(we just straightened that) and check out before we tell you that the store is officially closed(we would like to go home sometime before tomorrow morning arrives).

• Why would you decide you wanted that before looking at the price tag?

• Yes, cleaning up messes is something I'm required to do, but it is not my sole purpose in life, and therefore,  I would greatly appreciate it if you could behave like a human being and not a pig in a pigstye.

• I already told you we don't carry that specific item, why are you still staring at me? It's not like I can change my mind.

• We've heard the 'It didn't scan, so it must be free!' joke so often it makes us want to scratch your eyes out. 😊

• The phone call that's lasted through all four hours you've been in the store can wait for thirty seconds while I ring you up.

• Yes, I can point you to the dressing room! It's over there, right under the massive sign that says 'dressing room'. You're welcome.

• Ma'am, your child is about to capsize your shopping cart and you're on the phone facing the other way.

• How did you make it halfway through the store with a full shopping cart and then suddenly decide you didn't want any of it? Like, how do abandoned shopping carts work?

• Stealing doesn't mean you're smart, it just means you're entitled.

• We don't have another whole store's worth of merchandise 'in the back', you just think we do.

• I cannot possibly imagine any situation in which you would actually need your two candy bars in separate bags.

• Arguing with your child in front of me makes me very uncomfortable. Either buy the blue purse or don't.

• The fact that I'm keeping to policy has nothing to do with you, I'm not a racist and I'm not rude, I'm just keeping to the rules so I don't get either of us in trouble.

• Sir, I already said three times that it's a credit card you would be applying for. The fact that you're still surprised about this is astounding to me.

• No, we don't have sunglasses in the dead of winter. I need you to understand seasonal trends.

• If you make any of the very sweet ladies who work in the dressing room cry again, I will end you. 😌

That will be all. There's likely going to be a part 2 of this at some point or another, but that's all for today, folks! See you on Tuesday!

Have you ever worked in retail? What's something you always wished you could say but never could? We can chat in the comments. 😉